Strange concept I guess, but that is what I had to do. I had to learn to love life again. And I can't say I was totally successful, because that would be lying. And I don't want to do that. There are still parts of my life that I don't love. And there are parts of my life that I don't particularly like. But isn't that the way with everyone. I didn't wish to love my whole life. I just needed to accept my life. And that was harder done than said believe me. How can you accept the fact that I had been abused by my own Dad? I didn't know. And it was not like anyone could tell me...
But deep down I knew it was something I had to do if I was to move on.
I had to find a way of not only accepting my past, but learning to live in the present.
It was hard, and it did take time, but eventually I found a way to let my Father go.
It was like having a box, and packing all the bad memories inside, and then sealing it, putting on a really high shelf, and only ever taking it down to add others in. Others that for whatever reason I did not want to remember.
I remember sitting on my bed on night, it was late and my room was pitch black, there was just this tiny gap in my curtains, and I looked out into the night, and did this. I put all the memories of my Father in this cardboard box and put them away, because I didn't want to remember them, or him.
I wanted him gone...out of my life. And I never, ever wanted to see him again for as long as I live.
Kat x
But deep down I knew it was something I had to do if I was to move on.
I had to find a way of not only accepting my past, but learning to live in the present.
It was hard, and it did take time, but eventually I found a way to let my Father go.
It was like having a box, and packing all the bad memories inside, and then sealing it, putting on a really high shelf, and only ever taking it down to add others in. Others that for whatever reason I did not want to remember.
I remember sitting on my bed on night, it was late and my room was pitch black, there was just this tiny gap in my curtains, and I looked out into the night, and did this. I put all the memories of my Father in this cardboard box and put them away, because I didn't want to remember them, or him.
I wanted him gone...out of my life. And I never, ever wanted to see him again for as long as I live.
Kat x