They were falling apart, and I didn't know what to do. They couldn't speak to each other, well, not about IT. My Mum and Brother were tearing each other apart. And they hurt the other quite considerably sometimes. With one or other crying at the end of it. They argued over everything, and I do mean everything. Admittedly, things aren't great now, they still argue a lot. But well, that my brother really, a typical teenager. I just had to stand there and watch. Watch helplessly. Seeing how what HE had done was tearing us apart.
But there was one good thing that month, (August 2010) was that my Mum thought I was improving. She thought I was on a 'more even keel'. But my personal opinion was that the only thing I was improving were my acting skills!!
I did hide a lot from my family, and from some of my friends. Shut myself off because I didn't want to hear the truth, or know how to feel. I preferred the nothingness of being numb, I was protected from the pain of knowing. And that way I survived.
It would be a while before I learnt to open up. Before I learnt what being me really meant.
Yet I knew one day I would meet Katerina Matthews, I wasn't sure when, but I knew it wouldn't be until I was ready to.
But there was one good thing that month, (August 2010) was that my Mum thought I was improving. She thought I was on a 'more even keel'. But my personal opinion was that the only thing I was improving were my acting skills!!
I did hide a lot from my family, and from some of my friends. Shut myself off because I didn't want to hear the truth, or know how to feel. I preferred the nothingness of being numb, I was protected from the pain of knowing. And that way I survived.
It would be a while before I learnt to open up. Before I learnt what being me really meant.
Yet I knew one day I would meet Katerina Matthews, I wasn't sure when, but I knew it wouldn't be until I was ready to.
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