Today I was writing my book, Time To Save A Life. The one about a surgeon. 

And well, I was having a little trouble. Because I really want to portray an undercurrent of sexuality between Izabelle, the main character and her friend and colleague Connie. I don't want it to be obvious. I mean they are not lovers. Well, as far as the reader is aware they are not. But I want the sexual tension between the two of them. And it is hard to write that kinda stuff. 

Anyway, I am going to write what I have got so far...see what you think...

Its Connie's birthday and she has just opened her present from Izabelle...

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said softly "It's beautiful. Both of them are beautiful. You're beautiful" I smiled at her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Hugging her like my life depended on it. She didn't resist, and just melted into my arms, holding on to me just as tightly. Then, suddenly, she pulled me against her, and fell back against the sofa, and before I knew it I was curled between her legs, with my body pressed against hers. I tilted my head up and smiled at her. Then buried myself in her warmth. My head nestled on her breasts. For a moment I felt like I was in heaven. This woman was so soft and sexy it was impossible not to want to hold onto her for eternity. She wrapped her legs around mine and tighten her grip on me. But neither of us said a word. There was no need. Our faces and bodies did all the talking for us. 


What do you think then?? Is it loving enough...do you think that they could be lovers??

Yesterday was a bad day, in many ways. 

Firstly, I had to go into the sixth form for the morning, and that was hell from beginning to end. 

I went to the Admin desk, and had to pick up a form to apply to the Bursery for this year, I certainly hope I get it, because I do need the money. Anyway the Head of the new Year 12, last years Head of Year 13, asked to speak to me, and the PA for the Director said that there were only 2 subjects on my timetable; History and Geography A2. That confused me, because I said last year that I would be taking AS Sociology. The PA said she would put it on the timetable, providing it didn't clash. That worried me; I had made sure in May that it wouldn't. 

Then I had to speak to Mr H, because I was only doing 3 subjects and wouldn't be leaving at the end of the year with 3 A level equivalents. So I told him that I was planning to do A2 Sociology privately. This he didn't like, saying it wasn't correct, because it was showing favoritism, and a load of other crap. 

Well, anyway, I left telling the Director that I would be doing it, no matter what he said. Though I got so angry I could hit the guy. He was being really horrid, and telling me how he didn't think...bla bla bla...well what did it matter what he thought, it is up to me and my teacher right? 

So, I came home, and I was mad enough to spit feathers. I told my Mum, Nan and Grandad, and they were also angry about the whole thing, because I had been planning to do this since February, I know what I am doing. I am prepared for the extra work, and stress and everything, and I think that I can cope. 

My cousin rung up later, and I was speaking to her about the whole thing. Then I spoke to her Mum, because I have been having family problems, you see my Mum has got this boyfriend, which I was okay with, when he was treating her right. But he isn't any longer, and she is confused, and angry, and hurt, and simply doesn't know what to do. And I don't know what to say, because as a daughter I can see why she keeps holding out and hoping that things will get better, Because Dick hurt her, and Ric was so lovely to begin with, taking her out and buying her flowers, but now, she barely features in his life. Yet she won't let him go, but nor will she phone him, or ask him out. 

And so as a friend, I just want her to let go now, because I don't want him to hurt her anymore than he has already. 

Anyway my cousin's Mum was on the phone to me for nearly half an hour, and she told me that I just need to talk to Mum, and tell her how I feel. That my Mum will be stronger because of it all, that she has got her life back now, and that he has helped her. But mainly she just helped me stop worrying about my Mum. Because like she said, I have to be an adult now, and because my Mum talks to me about these things and not others it means that it is harder for me. And she is right. Because Coyle is never there for her, and she won't talk to Nan and Grandad, doesn't worry about them, and though she does talk to her friends, she doesn't tell them everything like she does me. 

Anyway, at the end of the day it got too much for me, and I just cried myself to sleep, angry at God for not letting happiness into our family...